Pirates Across the Seven Seas Bewail Better Business Bureau’s 100+ Years of Service

September 26, 2013

An anonymous pirate, speaking on behalf of pirates, rogues and thieves around the world, today bemoaned the Better Business Bureau’s 100+ years of service advancing trust between businesses and customers.

“It’s tough to be a scallywag with those landlubbers peeping through their spyglass,” the captain noted through an anonymous interview made available to the media on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. “In the good ol’ days, any bilge rat could drop anchor any place he fancied and take the locals for every farthing they got. Now me and me lads ‘ave had to mend our sails or it’s to the brig with the whole lot of us.”

“It be troublin’,” he added sadly.

The pirate captain went on to lament BBB’s mission of an ethical marketplace where buyers and sellers can trust each other. “What kind of scoundrel thought that up?” he asked.

The buccaneer also grumbled about how easy BBB has made it for consumers to file a complaint against a business. “All a feller has to do is log in t’ bbb.org and tell ‘em the story. BBB takes it from there.”

When asked about how BBB works to fight fraud, scams, piracy and other criminal activity, the former swashbuckler wiped away a tear and said, “They’ra makin’ it harder and harder for a pirate to earn a dishonest living.”